Things I’ve learned about myself and the world

Growing up in the South provided me with a unique opportunity to be uninformed about the rest of the world. I mean my favorite childhood memory is shelling peas and drinking Pepsi from the Piggly Wiggly (or was it Winn-Dixie?). It should be obvious that I wasn’t exactly cultured in any sense of the word, except the Southern sense.

Traveling around the world and now living in Brazil, meeting diverse people and learning from them has caused me to expand my borders a bit. Here are a few things I’ve learned about the world:

1. Earl Grey tea rocks. (Thanks to my Brit friend, Clare!) Nothing like a little down time in the afternoon with a cup of tea.

2. Fish does not have to be fried to be enjoyed. You can make a meal off of sushi. (Again, thanks to Clare.)

3. For the majority of the world, football doesn’t involve the use of helmets and shoulder pads.

4. Underwear in the rest of the world is designed for those who wax.

5. Wherever you go, you are there. And Coca-cola tastes the same. Even when drinking it out of a plastic bag.

6. Most of the rest of the world doesn’t use hairspray.

7. It is possible to say a complete sentence without using the word “ya’ll”…ya’ll.

8. The American flag in some places gets the same response as the Confederate flag up North.

9. SpongeBob translates well.

I had some others I forgot. I’ll share more as they come to me.

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I didn’t do it

I didn’t do it. It wasn’t me. I was at school. It’s not my fault. I wasn’t here. It’s not mine.

EXCUSES ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY.

Especially when they’re not true. It seems like if my children don’t pay attention to what they are doing when they do it, they feel they are not responsible for what they have done.

Which would mean they would consider themselves not responsible for driving me crazy.

Ok, then. Who do I get to blame?