Like Sara Lewis Holmes, I enjoyed Kelly Fineman’s post yesterday on revising poetry and couldn’t pass up the chance to try my hand at her challenge to revise her sample sentence into something more poetry-like. With my brain in haiku mode yesterday, I took her sentence:
“Today I walked through the woods as the light faded, heedless of nature until a rustling noise drew my attention to a litter of raccoons near the stream.”
And I came up with a haiku that almost manages to incorporate each of Kelly’s details. I can’t wait to see what Kelly came up with. I think she’ll be posting it today if she hasn’t yet. Sara posted her own here. And I hope a few more of you join in on the fun too. Here’s my try:
Wandering creek side
Shadows swell between quiet pines
Raccoons surprise my thoughts
Kristy Dempsey 
This WAS fun, wasn’t it? Turning a prose-y sentence into a lovely haiku—don’t you feel like a magician or something? 🙂
Or at least a poser. 🙂
So sparse, and with so much in there. Well done!
Thanky, ma’am. I didn’t quite get all your details in, but they informed my image.
Very nice!
Thanks!
Love those swelling shadows…
Well, it might not be the perfect word. I first thought “seeping” but it did seem more like they swell and fill in all those empty spaces in the woods, so that’s what I’m going with for now.
Love those swelling shadows…
I tried this too but didn’t publish it yet. Maybe tomorrow?
Well, my haiku is a pretty lame example of the form. It has a verb in every line! It’s hard for me to write short with no verbs though. But yes, post yours. I’m looking forward to seeing it.